bubbling over!!!!

Have you ever felt like you where drowning

while you where standing on dry land.

I have had that feeling several times while on this journey.

I tried with all my heart not to lose control of my emotions while on the phone today.

 Here is the story of how my emotions got the best of me!

The bubbling effect started on the 26th of June when our paper work was sent back.

We tried to send off our paper work to the Sectary of state to get appostilled.

They sent it back and told us that they cannot appostiled copies.

We need  to have the Dr. that did our physical, sign the same document

two more times instead of coping it. 

Guess what, he went on vacation for two weeks!  

I was a little upset but I thought I would and have to wait 

until July the 9th when he gets back.

The tears started to build in my eyes when the nice lady told me 

the Dr. did not have any days open until

 Monday July 16th. 

The drowning feeling over came me and the tears

cooled my warm face while I cried.

The nice lady on the other end of the line asked if I was o.k.

I responded  to that statement with 

a light and shackie "I am ok"

I know that I should not be so upset with having to wait for another week,

however, 

I want those papers sent over so we

can get our boy home.

After I hung up the phone I sobbed and tried to search for meaning 

what does this mean?

What do we need to do now?

I asked and prayed for an answer and all I got was a 

peace and the assurance to keep moving ahead.

I then called the Sectary of state again to see what else we could do?

She told me that we could get those copies  notarized.

So we will write a quick statement and have the copies notarized again.

We will send them off and see what happens.  I hope that it goes well.

I want to have the paper work sent and start the process 

of our first flight.

I am reminded on an hourly basis that I am not in control

 and I do not like it sometimes.

People try to be nice and remind me of that fact.

 I am aware of it, because if I was in control

it would be different. 

One thing I know is that if I did not react

with such emotion 

I would be dead inside.

I also know that it is a slow and painful

way to die, from the inside out!

Some times I hate my humanity  and my emotions

however

I hate being a robot more.

I just needed you all to know how this journey has 

changed me into a better person.  

There are days and moments that cause me to feel overwhelmed.

There are days that I just laugh and smile when 

I think of our boy and if he will like cars  or blocks better.

There are moments that I just cry with pain, happiness, sorrow

and frustration.

 I do not doubt that he is my son.

I do not doubt that he will enjoy his life with the love and support of this family.

Even if I have moments when I feel like I am drowning, 

I know who my help comes from.

Have you ever exeperinced this?

It was a warm summer day, the sun was shining.

I was filled with excitement, joy and trepidation.

I was 15 and learning how to properly turn a corner.  

I remember the look on my sisters face as she told me to slow down when turning a corner.

I replied," I will"

The way I remember the events is like this:

I was going 30 miles per hour approaching the corner.

After the reminder to slow down I did!

I was only going 25 miles per hour and I thought the car handled very well.

If you ask my sister she will tell

 you a made up version that is not true!

 

I had this same day but many years later when I was

trying to teach my own daughters to drive.

The warmth of the sun was felt on my face, while  fear gripped  my heart.

Through many hours of laughter and screaming,

two of my daughters have their very own license.  

The third one is not far behind and the fourth  girl has a few more years.

I have one of them that likes the lead foot on the gas while turning the corners.

She should be a race car driver!

(She reminds me of me at that age, O boy are we in for it!)

I have one that likes to just plain speed.

My Kelsee is now learning......

She has to learn to balance her foot on the brake and gas.  

You know what I am talking about the quick stop and jerk motion,

while she repeats the phrase "I am sorry."

She is getting better and I laugh when I think of those memories.

I know that the girls and I both enjoyed the time spent together.

The same applies for this current journey of Mission Possible.

It has reminded me of that fun time with my daughters in the car.

Just when I think the road is straight and I could put the pedal 

to the metal.  

There comes a yellow slow down caution sign!

Just when I think I have all the paper work done right

there comes a curve in the road.

The past week or two has seemed 

  like a trip with not stop quick and jerk motion.  

I would like this to be a smooth and painless journey, 

however

it is far from that!

I know that sometimes life is like that,

full of unexpected detours

hours of construction

miles of road in front of you 

and miles of road in back of you.

I can enjoy the trip!

I can and will enjoy the laughter, screams and stories.

This will be the legacy for our boy and any other children to follow.

This legacy of love, joy, kindness

learning and growing is what I want to leave behind.

I want the sun to shine on the faces of my loved ones.

I want the journey of this life to teach them the important things.  

I want the love and support of this family to 

spread and make a difference.  

I do know  that this group of people that I love 

will and can make a difference, even if the 

road is full of construction.

We are awaiting for our Dr. to get back from vacation 

 we need to have him fill out three more medical certificates.  

I was hoping that this would be done this Monday, however, 

he will not be back until Monday the 9th.

This holds up paper work which holds up our first flight.

AND guess what I  have just realized again

is that I, Michelle is not in control!

We are also trying to get the rest of the money 

by fundraising  and filling out more paper work for 

grants and loans.

I am asking for some additional  prayer.

I need the strength

the love

the support.

Thank you for all your help and support!

Let's keep driving, driving,driving!

I while driving this week listen and enjoy this song

this is our jam!

If you hear it from a distance it will be us coming down the road!

To love or not to love that is the question!?!?!?!

Remember the first stages of love?

Where the birds are singing

and it is hard to eat.

When your heart skips a beat every time you think of them.

How about the times when you have to glance at 

their picture.

You smile when you think about what that person

likes and doesn't like.

You wonder what makes them smile, laugh

cry, scream or just shout with joy.

I remember that stage of love.  

I went through that when I met my husband

and we started  dating.

I remember feeling that way when 

I was pregnant with both my daughters.

I would spend days wondering what they would look like.

I wondered what would make them smile.

I longed for the time when I  could I tickle them

 and watch their faces beam with laughter and joy.

I would also long to hear them call me mom.

I wondered if they would have a piggy like laugh 

or 

just a silent body shaking laugh.

Now that I have them in my life I know many 

answers to those questions.

I know what can make them laugh and how they are

going to laugh!

I know that I love them more every day that I get

to spend with them.  

As they keep growing and changing I now 

have other questions...

for example what are the going to do with 

their lives?  

Are they going to be happy with life?

Are they going to follow or lead?

I do know some things for sure and one of them is that 

I love those beautiful girls of mine.

I will always be there for them.

I know that they are pretty amazing 

and 

they have blessed many people.

I am also very blessed to be a part of their journey.

 Now they are older we talk together about 

such questions and the mysteries of the universe.

So when we fell in love with a cute little boy

named Artem, questions did arise.

We wonder if he will like chocolate or white milk better?

Will he like cars or blocks better?

What will make him laugh, smile or scream.

 We wonder if he will like us?!

What if he doesn't like the Huskers!?

I know, RIGHT HUSKER NATION!

( what will we do?! :)

Love him any ways!!

We have often looked at his picture and smiled.

We have loved this little boy from the time we saw him on the computer.

We are still in love with him.  

Wondering if he is safe and well taken care of. 

Still waiting word to assure us of his where abouts.  

Still praying that he is loved, safe and happy. 

We will always be asking ourselves these questions 

because he is a part of this family. 

We claim him as a Mosley!

I know that he is one amazing boy

that will be home with us some day soon.

Then I will be able to learn the answer to many of those questions.

But most of all He will be home where he belongs!

With a mom, dad, two sisters, crazy uncles

silly aunts, wonderful grandmas, ornery grandpas

lively cousins and pets 

who can not wait to be apart of his life.

I hope you all can see just a little of the love behind our journey.

I know that all of you have loved even at first sight, 

this is not different.  

Enjoy this song and listen to the words.  

I believe that God has given me every one in my life 

 and 

I know that I do not deserve it but I am so

full of gratitude!

THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!

I should know and expect

people to make stabs at my comments 

and my journey.

I have spent the last five or so months

thinking about

about one unique blog follower.

Wondering and pondering why this person says

the things he/she says?!

You have said things that may be true.

The question that still plagues my thoughts is:

What happened to this person to make him/her 

hate adoption so?

I know that I will never know.

I do know that this event is still having consequences 

this very day, on your live. 

I want you to know that 

I am sorry for your pain and that it still haunts you! 

There will be good and bad things 

that happen on this earth.

All of it does and will have an affect on who we are.

We can choose to view it all 

through two different glasses.

Therefore, I am so sorry for the pain that you 

feel when you hear the joys of 

adoption, 

however

I and my family are 100%

sure that our boy is just that our BOY.

No matter who he is WE KNOW HE IS OURS!

Even though he has been transferred.

That will not stop our hearts from finding him

and bringing him home.

I pray that one day you will be able to receive 

the love that is uncommon to this world

the forgiveness that is unexplainable.

I really do pray that your burden will be lightened!

 I know who I am and I know 

that I can not in myself

do all that I want!

I do know from whom I get my strength!

I know that it is only my self

asking God to help me to see what he sees.

 

I believe...........watch this video!!!

I just watched this you tube video.

This video was shared with me from a friend.

I wanted to share it and make 

you all believe!

I know that some people will say 

that I am a dreamer and that I do not 

see things as they are.

I say according to who?

Some one wise told me that opinions 

are like noses, every one's got one!

I know that I do not need to look hard 

for the bad or negative side.

So my opinion is to use my power of positive thinking 

for Good!

Enjoy and remember to feel with your heart

while you can.

Remember to invest in relationships not things! 

I believe that my boy Artem is the missing link to our 

family!

I believe he will be with us soon!

 

SMILE:)

Today was a good day.

Even though it was hot, WINDY, middle of the week,

it is still a good day.

Even though I hurt and am so very tired,

it is still a good day.

IT IS A GOOD DAY!!!

 

I got to hug some cute kids and have them love on me. 

I also got to see the sunshine reflect off 

the water of the sprinkler.  

I  got to hear the birds chirp!

I also got to spend another moment with 

my friends and family that I love so very much.  

I also got the chance to enjoy the 

simple things of life.

I have enjoyed seeing children smile

and laugh.

If I every forget to take time to slow down 

and listen, smile and laugh, 

it will be a very SAD

I know that God will put people in my life

to show me the way life needs to be.  

Hey if you have not lately check out Artem's smile.

It takes me one second to smile when I see his picture.

Thanks to my kids, and to my God

and to my friends and family.  

Thank you for smiling at me and helping me to remember 

that life is simple and should be enjoyed. 

This song helps me to smile and dance

even when life is full of stress, deadlines

and tests I can still smile and dance!

Please dance with me!

I do know one thing  for sure 

this life is so very short, so enjoy every moment that you can!

We are USCIS approved!!!!

This past week has been a really crazy roller coaster ride.

The first part of the week we where

denied a grant that we had applied for.

I was hurt and cried tears despair. 

We still need $9,000 to completely fund our trip.

We will still work endlessly to raise the money

that is needed.  

We have another TCBY afternoon July 8th.

We will have a yard sale as well.

O.k. enough rambling about that!

The next day our approval came in the mail.

  I sobbed with joy and excitement!

Our whole family cried tears of happiness and shouted with joy!

Thank you to all our supporters!

We are working on getting the rest of the paper work.

Let me tell you how many copies of the same document!!!!

Three million!

Ok that is not true but it sure feels like it sometimes.

Hold on my little boy we are coming!