Friday, December 26, 2014









As the laughter quieted on the other end of the phone my sister in law reported to me that she thought I was a typical soccer mom. 
 “You know the one that you see on T.V. driving the kids to every activity in the family van.”  
 “The one that lives in a house garnished with a white picket fence.”
 “You know that one who is living the American dream.”  
 After the conversation ended I hung up the phone. 
 Those words seemed to echo in my ears and caused my mind to ponder. 
 I thought we are a very typical family.   
A family with a mother, Michelle, that teaches a Life Skills class at a local Elementary for the past seventeen years.
 A father, Paul, who also loves his occupation that he has with the local city office. 
 The oldest child is a daughter, Kersten, who loves to root for the underdog and an infectious outgoing personality. 
 The second daughter, Kelsee, who loves to sing and is the class clown due to her quick wit that keeps people in stitches. 
 Our family also has the company of two boxers, Libby and Asia.  
 So you see the typical family, Right?!






This American family our family had just that a dream. 
  This dream started with a seed of compassion for needy children. 
 After sponsoring a sweet girl from the Philippians for several years, the seed sprouted into having the chance to provide a child a forever home. 
  In 2011 the chance to provide a home for an orphan was looking like a possibility.  
 The chance to say Thank you for allowing the torch of parenthood to be passed. 
 We could see it!  After many hours of filling in blank lines and answering hundreds of questions the paper work was finished. 
 The many days of waiting, working and praying finally paid off. 
 The seedling blossomed into a new plant with the flight of the first trip to meet the little boy who had stolen our hearts.
 We had the opportunity to meet some inspirational people and our boy. 
 We spent a week in his country and feel in love with him and his culture.  
 We signed more paper work to start the next step of a court date. 



 The fragile plant that started could not stand up to the blustery storm that was approaching. 
The winds of discord brought the rain of obstinacy. 
 This caused the thunder and the lightening to clap in an enormous rage across our dream. 
A month and a half passed and the storm raged and ripped the fragile plant of adoption away from us.
 At the end of 2012 the country halted all adoptions. 
The doors that where once opened where now slammed and nailed shut with no glimmer of light to be seen. 
  The past two years have caused us as a family unit to reflect on some core believes. 
        We still have a longing to be a forever family.  
 We still love and long for our little boy, who is physically far off but held so close in our hearts.  
 The climate and soil is ready for a new seedling, a new plant a new gift.  We are in the process of bringing home another child. 
 A sweet little girl this time.  
 We have once again filled in the blank lines and answered hundreds of questions. 

 We are finishing our dossier in order to be officially matched with this little one. 
 Our fragile seedling needs some support. 
  Our typical family still has that dream. 
 A dream to provide a child with
 a home, 
a place of acceptance,
 a place to dance with joy,
 a place to run to when sorrow hits,
 a place filled with people who truly love each other. 
 Would you be willing to help us fulfill this dream?  
 We need people who are in like mind to help us reach this dream. 
 We are in need of financial support. 
 We did not recover any funds from our failed adoption. 
Saying that out loud still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
It still stings my eyes with salty tears.
I am asking and pleading! 


        I am asking as a mother who longs to hold her child.
I am asking as a chosen child.  
 I was an orphan. 
  My twin and I where loved so much that we received two sets of parents. 
I am asking as a fellow human being who believes that
 Love, 
compassion
 and forgiveness
 grows the best kind of humans.
  I believe that everyone deserves to have a family.  
  Everyone deserves a place called home.
 Everyone deserves love, second chances and the opportunity to grow into what they are to become. 
Even if you believe in one of these, please help fund our adoption.
We are in need of $35,000 to make this dream come true.
Could you find it in your heart to help a dream come true?!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

I want to dream again!

To Dream: a condition or achievement
that is longed for!

I want to dream again.
I want a season of believing that right will win 
and everyone gets a happy ending.
I have had to wrestle myself many times over!
I have had to stand face to face with my own words
and three of my major beliefs in this world.

1. We are not guaranteed anything!
2.  Everything happens for a reason or a lesson!
3.  We should know who we are!

As many of you know our dream of 
Artem joining our family can not be
granted at this time.
This has been a journey that has tested, reshaped
and caused a confrontation in me.
It has not been easy  however it has caused
growth and learning.
As an educator I know that some lessons are
harder than others to internalize .
I have had to face the fact that we are not
guaranteed anything.
This includes people in our lives.
Our career.
Our health.
Our very breath.
Our family members.
Our friends.
 The time we get with them.
We have no control over any of it!
This is a tough pill to swallow.

Everything happens for a reason or a lesson.
If the only reason was for me to 
see the beauty of this sweet little boy 
and always remember his smile, 
then so be it!  
If the lesson is to value every minute 
and make those minutes count with 
something eternal then so be it!

We should know who we are!
 I know I preach how important it is
 to know who you are.
I do believe it.
Some days it is harder to see it!
I know that I am Michelle Lee Mosley.
What does that look like.
At times  crazy, hyper, positive 
other times quiet, pondering,stubborn.
I am loved, redeemed, chosen, worthy.
These qualities need to be the driving point 
to vanquish the negative ones.
I am prideful and I do not like to ask for help.
I can also be stubborn which not always a bad thing.

I know I do have a longing I have a dream.
I dream of saving a child.
I dream of investing in that soul.
I dream of  telling that child
he/she is chosen, wanted and loved.
 I am ready to open my heart again!
 
I am in need of some help.
I need some support in this decision.
I have the ok to move on and save another.
I need you all to help me over come my fears.
 The fear of another failed adoption.
 The fear of the unknown.
The fear of not being able to see how 
this adoption will happen.
I am asking for you to help me get 
over all this fear!
There is a little girl that is waiting for her
forever family to find her.
I want to be a part of that!
She is waiting to hear someone say
you are worth it!
 She is waiting to be chosen and We choose her!

I need you all to pray for us.
 I need you to support us.
 I need you to hug me
 and give me words of encouragement.
Can I count on you!
Please come and dream with me!
 I need all of you!
 

 
 

 



 

Friday, February 14, 2014

HAPPY LOVE DAY

I use to really hate Valentine's day.
I hated all the 
colors,
the fake smiles,
the idea of what love is to look like!
I rolled my eyes at the very thought of romance 
and valentine's day!
I thought that I hated Love.
I was hurt by people I thought I loved 
and
I thought they loved me!



That was until a friend broke
 my perception of love, 
while teaching me the truth.
Love is not just 
cards
flowers
jewelry
gifts
and all the public display of affection!

Love comes from the heart.
It might be forgiving even when still angry.
It is caring about that person even if you do not agree!
It is understanding that love still exits 
even if there is damage and brokenness.

THIS IS WHEN LOVE IS NEEDED THE MOST!

Love looks like a patient hand.
Love looks like a smile after a long day of making mistakes.
Love looks at the others differences as a celebration.
Love gives hope, dreams and peace.
Love looks for the best even though many years have passed.
Love is a empathic hug after an emotional explosion.

LOVE IS HARD!

It will require ME to be put on the back burner.
It will require me to actually look at others in my life.
Love does not guarantee a Fairy tale ending. 
Love does require me to look inward 
and sometimes that is a struggle.

Love forces me to look at myself and see if I am in check.
What kind of love is it IF I expect others
to treat me with 
patience
kindness
long suffering
forgiveness
and I am not giving those in return!

My friend told me that I needed to first learn
to love myself!
Then I could love others better!

She was right, I treated people the way
I treated myself!
There was moments of the day I could not stand 
my own reflection.
I would explode and then beat myself up after.
I could not forgive my stupidity.
I kept a running record of the
mistakes
pain
disappointment
frustration
that I caused people and myself.
I listen to the lies that filtered into my mind and heart.
I believed that I was worthless.
I believed that I was a lost cause.
I believed that no one could love me!

That was until one day, when my friend introduced me to someone
 who loves me for me.
He understand me.
He forgives me.
He knows that I am not perfect and he does not require me to be!
He filled my heart with a better picture of myself.
He taught me who I am.
It has nothing to do with what I have done.
It does not depend on what I can do well.
It does not depend on anything I can do or not do!
 It is all in knowing who I am 
and
be thankful for what I was given.
It has nothing to do with me and 
everything with what He gave for me.
He helped me to see my worth 
and 
in return I see others worth!
Guess what?
We are equal!

I love love! 
Even though it  can be heart breaking!
It is hard to allow others a free will that I myself have.
It is hard to allow choices to be made 
even if they are harmful.
It is hard sometimes to show love 
even in the face of evil.
BUT
I know what love I was given.
I know what love that erases the pain.
I know a love that helps me dream.
I know what love looks like!
I know that I look at myself differently.
This helps me to see others differently.

This helps me to love unconditionally!
I know that is not a typical practice in today's world.
I know it does exist!
To everyone that I am privilege to love.
I want you to know I love you unconditionally.
I hope that you know that by now!





 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

He is never alone!

It has officially been one year since our world changed.
One year since the hot tears of anger flowed down my face.
One year since my boy was refused his own family.
One year of heart aches, hoping and praying
One year later we still do not have our boy.

Do you want to know how easy it is to become a bitter person?
EASY!
I have caught myself looking at people that have 
a happy child at the park playing
and
I think that should be us with Artem.
I see parents that hurt their children and again
I wonder why!
The bitterness can take root as quickly as that.




I was in Artem's room today and I just sat 
on the floor as I  remembered making the walls in his room.
I remember how we, family and friends wrote
 our thoughts and prayers 
on the two by fours before we hung the sheet rock.
I remember how the girls and I  sat in there and 
wondered what toys he would like better.
I remember the colors that Paul choice for his room.
I remember sanding the walls and not
complaining once because it was for him.
Then I went to his dresser and found some shirts 
we had bought for him.

 
Again I asked why, why, why....
I can see how people that have done this whole adoption
process can get bitter if it does not go the way
it was planned. 
I know how a heart can break 
when you had
 planned,
 dreamed
 longed
 and 
envisioned another little blessing to come
be a part of the family and it has not happened.
I know how helpless it feels.
I know how the tears
 burn,
 enrage,
 and sometimes
 will not cease.
I know how you feel so lost.
What to do now!?!??!
I know how it feels to have someone
rip the carpet out from under your feet.
I also know how it can make me a 
skeptic,
 sarcastic, 
and a  very bitter person.
When I look in the mirror and see that person
it makes me sad and angry.
That is not who I am!
That is not what I am about!
I also know that is takes work and 
always a watchful eye to notice yourself
slipping back into that bitter person.  
That person who is not always looking for 
the bad in things.
That person who believes that there
was some kind of guarantee in this world.
I can be bitter with what I think I should have got!
I can be happy with the time that I did get!

I am so thankful for the chance to met Artem.
I am so blessed to have spent some time with him and his friends.
I will never forget those smiles, laughs and the stories.
I will always hold him in my heart.
He will always be my little man!
He will always make me smile when I look at his face.
He will always be a part of this family
even if he is not near us at this time!
I stamped him as a Mosley and he is mine.
No matter what this world may say!
I love you Artem and we are not giving up on you.
Your whole family is fighting for you baby boy.
Just like Kersten said,
OHANA
means family.
Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten!