Friday, December 28, 2012

Who is ready for a roller coaster ride!

What a crazy ride this has been lately.
I have to be honest with you.
I have really felt terrible these past few days.
The thought of not being able to ever see my boy again.
The thought of him spending the rest of his life in the orphanage.
Then he will have to be transferred to an adult mental facility when he is 23.

He will never be able to be tucked in at night.
He will not be able to go to the swimming pool with the girls to enjoy the sunshine!
He will never be able to help plant flowers in the yard.
 He will never get to laugh at his sisters silly faces.
He will never be able to sit on my lap and let me whisper in his ears!
He will not get the chance to hear the words
I LOVE YOU!

There has been so many minutes of the day where I screamed!
"How unfair this is!"  
Why is it that the innocent always suffer.
Why can't WE have the happy ending!
Why?

After the the screaming fit I burst into
tears and an ache that involves my whole being.
How can this happen?
We followed all the rules and the demands that where placed.
Still..... still!!!!

Yes I am upset.
Yes I am mad
Yes I am sad
Yes I am frustrated!
Yes I am human. 
 I have feelings
 and those feelings are normal!
I do know that it does not matter what law is passed.
That will not stop us from fighting for him.
Nothing will stop us from loving him.
Nothing will be able to make us forget him!
If need be we will wait!

I also know that I can not say this by myself! 
I am so very thankful that I have God.
.
 Every child deserves a loving family.
Every child just not a normal  one needs to have 
a place of comfort
a place of their own
a place called home!
Please people listen to your heart 
and
 think about how you would feel
if you where rejected.
Think how you would feel 
when you looked in the face of love.
Even Today 
we got a phone call that rang with 
a sweet sound of love!
We are the receipt ant of a grant!
This is given to us by a great group of people
who believe in the life saving action of adoption!

Thank you to all the people who listen to the call!
Thank you to the people who get it!
They see the power that love has and they are not afraid to use it!

So all of those families who dare to love a child, 
an Innocent  child,
Hold fast help is on the way!



We know who is in control of this and he loves our babies even more!

.
  

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas!

This season is a magical time of the year.
I love the smiles.
I love the waves.
I love the giving with out anything in return.
I love the the love that can lighten even the most darkened heart.




That is what I pray for this coming year.
I am sorry for all the pain, sorrow and grief that some bear.
I pray that you will allow
people to show you mercy, grace and forgiveness.
I pray that you will allow those people and feelings heal you from the inside out.
I also pray that you will show your self some mercy, grace and forgiveness. 

Life is way too short to carry items that hurt or damage yourself.
Let go of the bad and hold on to the good.  
Sometimes the bad comments and actions of others can lead to a sore place in your heart.
I do know that I can not take away any one's free will
or
make them choose a better way.
Since I can not  I need to look for solutions.
I know that the world is full of problems.
I also know that are many people who are sharing 
walking and talking solutions to some problems of this world.
Problems like loneliness, sorrow, sadness, anger, and low self esteem.
I want to Thank all those LIVING EXAMPLES!
The ones that say they have patience, love and grace  and 
live that way by the actions they show!
I want to be one of those living examples
 and give all that I can
 and do all I can until
I am gone from this earth.
I want to leave a legacy for my family, friends and God.
I am so thrilled to see other people caring for the homeless.
Caring for the orphans.
Caring for the widow.
Caring for the down trotted.
Therefore I am happy to see that the Russian government
is caring enough about making sure that their children 
are safe.
My family and friends have been through a great deal 
of screening, probing, and revealing in the past year.
All for the adoption of our boy, who we have met and 
are currently waiting for a court date for.
We will do it all over again if need be.  We are still completing the requirements.
I know where our heart is!
I know that we are ready.  We as family have prepared our house.
We have prepared our lives.
WE as a family know what we are getting into.
I my self have taught and dealt with disabled people and children for most of my life.
I am a guardian of a disabled family member.
I am a Special education specialist  who has taught disabled
children for the past fifteen years.
My husband and I are both trained in giving Meds, CPR and First aid trained.
We have also done many hours of education and training in the past year.
So we are prepared.
It is unfair to think that every American is going to return 
a child they adopt.
It is also unfair to think that every American likes baseball.
I hope that you are seeing my point!  
I do advocate for all children to have  the chance to a loving family.
We are that family for him.
   Merry Christmas  to all!

Thank you to all who have helped us and is currently supporting
us with our adoption! 

Friday, December 21, 2012

Jesus loves the little children; We should too!

Why is it always the innocent who have to pay the price
for someone Else's free will.

Why is the world so busy with hurting, killing or destroying 
any joy and laughter.

Why do we as adults think we know best?
Why do we allow our tented vision and warped mind
project our consequences unto the most vulnerable people.

These past few weeks have really brought 
me to my knees.
I have cried tears of sadness, 
I have cried tears of loss
I have cried tears of anger
I have also cried tears of helplessness!
There as been a great deal of confusion and heartache.

The children are always the ones that have to suffer.
With the many tragedies that have taken place lately 
compounded by the recent events. 

Because of words and heated tempers the Innocent 
children might have to suffer.  













Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Christmas is coming!

My favorite holiday has always been and will always be 
Christmas!

I love to hear Christmas music playing.  
I love the smell of sugar cookies baking.
I love the bright colors of the lights!
I love the joy of the season,
I love  the innonce of children.
I love that they still believe.
They believe 
in 
Santa Claus.
They believe in the happiness of giving.
They believe in miracles.
They believe in the love that forgives.
They believe in the peace that calms one's 
body, mind and soul!

I am so thrilled and blessed to be surrounded by these angels.
I love looking in their eyes when talking about Christmas.
I love to see the excitement of the magic of the season.


I miss that time of life.  
I wish I could be a child for a longer time.
I wish I could enjoy the belief of good.
I wish it was still easy not to doubt.

These are the lessons that I have learned over the past 15 years of teaching.
I am blessed to have a job that I love.
I am for ever in debt to my children.
The teacher of lives most valuable lessons.

Thank you my kiddos.
Thank you for the love, peace, mercy
and faith you instill in my soul.
Thank you to my wonderful son.
You make it easier to believe in miracles and unconditional love.
 You display the true meaning of the season.  
You are the living examples of God's love.
 I love the way He loves us and teaches us!


I wish you a Merry Christmas and I hope that you will be safe until 
we can get you home.
I   want you to know that we love you and are so very blessed 
to have you in our lives.
I am heart broken you will not be with us on Christmas.
My eyes fill up with tears as I think about how much I miss you.
Then I remember the miracle of Christmas and the joy that we 
will have when you come home.



Saturday, December 1, 2012

THOUGHTS AND THINKING!

I have thought about our boy and his homeland.

 
I thought about the time we spent there.
I have thought about all the people I got to interact with.
 I thought about the smile on the director's face as he greeted us everyday!

I thought about the how each child had a smile
and was happy about doing their job for the day.


I thought about the landscape of country.
 

I even thought about how I felt the first time I got to see
our boy in person.
I remember how he smiled and walked.
I thought about how Paul won yet again another bet.
We had a bet on who he would go to first.
I know it is a shock but he went to Paul first and here is the proof.
I was the person running the camera! haha
After my mind had it's fill of thoughts, it turned to thinking.
I was thinking how truly blessed I am.
I thinking how awesome it has been so far.
This wonderful journey!
How I was so blessed to be able to meet all the kids that live
at this institution.
WE are so very lucky to be able to get him.
We where both blessed by the kind words, genuine  smiles and sweet simply innocence.
I was thinking about all these children.
I was thinking how it would be amazing if people would
open their hearts and life's to these lovable children.
I was thinking that every child deserves to know
how it feels to get tucked in at night.
Every child deserves to have that comfort of mommy and daddy!
Every child deserves to be cuddled when sick.
I was thinking how awesome that would be if more children got to
go home and life the happy ending we
sometimes take for granted.

I was thinking about this whole journey 
and  how it has nothing to do with me,
but everything about Him
and the lessons that I have learned thus far!

I have learned the lesson of being an advocate for my son.
he deserves to be held and talked to every day
by his momma and pappa and his sisters!

I dislike asking for help.
It causes me some mental anguish and dents my pride!
However, while we are waiting for our court date we are working
so very hard.
WE are finishing up classes, putting the final touches on the house,
and  fundraising like mad.

I know that not every one has the same part of this journey.
It is like a team.
There is defensive players, offensive players, quarter back
and finally the coaches.
Every one has a different role!
WE need all of them to work together to get the job done.
That is where you come in!
If you feel so lead please do what you can to help
give him the happy ending that all children
deserve.


I know you will help us to write a happy ending for our boy!