Where are you Heros?

“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”

The urgency to protect has never been more prevalent then now!

I have heard, listened  and cried at some of the news lately.  

The very act of taking advantage of the weak

has exploded with it's piousness affects on the most innocent.  

Between the stories of child sex trafficking 

that even happens here in my own backyard, 

to 

the reports of abuse and neglect that happen to 

the weakest of babies.

I am filled with sorrow, pain and the urge to defend these.

The innocent, the ones that have to suffer

and suffer injustice due to the fact

they can not  choose.

They get to suffer because of someone else's  poor choices.

I have a huge problem with this!

I do know that free will is something that is given and not taken away.

So what people do with it is the game changer.

 

We can decide to make great choices and full fill our purpose.

We can decide to make every moment count 

to make a good ripple that will last.

Since I have this choice I need to remember that 

every other human does as well.  

This is the part that is hard to accept.

Knowing that people have control of their choices 

should empower us to help.

Help protect the little and the least of these 

that can not exercise his/her free will.

Do you honestly think that 

disabled children and young adults

ask to be taken advantage of.

Do you think they say 

"Please take what ever you need and 

leave me on the side of the road."  

Do you honestly think the little boys and girls 

ask to be traded for pleasures.

Do you think that the little orphans ask to stay where they are.

Instead of having a chance to be in a loving home.

Do you think the little baby says 

"I know you had a moment of passion 

and you do not want me to change your life's plan"

Do you really think that any child

ask to be forgotten, misplaced, preyed upon and neglected!

If so I am sorry for your present state of mind.

If thinking about this has you feeling a mixture of emotions

then that is good you are still alive!

All I am asking for us to do is 

do what is right!

This all includes any one that loves children

any child regardless of sex, race, creed and abilities.

Take a stand!

If you see that the least of these are being 

taken advantage of,

neglected

abused,

traded

forgotten

or misplaced.

STEP IN..

Use your free will for the betterment of our world.

Use your power to help!

 This current condition is a world wide event.

We as a human race have forgotten to take care of our

most prized possession.

Our future our very own.

We where at one time all children.

I am so thankful for the advocates I had.

I am forever grateful that I was rescued.

I had people who stood up for me.

That is still effecting me and my choices to this day!

I want to be a child's advocate.

I want to give them the best so they can return that.

I know that I will stand for the least of these until the world ends.

That is my choice!

I am proud of that choice.

How can you look into the eyes of children

without knowing you have done all you

can to protect them.  

SO, my heros where are you?

Please know that you are not alone in this fight.

If you stand up for what is right you  will never be alone!

Be  a Hero! Do what is Right!

Please listen to this song 

think then be moved to action!

Do we really do what is best for the helpless?

Do we really do what is best for the helpless?

When I say we I mean Human kind.

 The adults, the ones that have grown up.

The ones who are suppose to know better.

The ones who are to protect and serve in an honorable manner.

The ones who have learned how to share, listen, think 

and not react in a negative way. 

Us adults, do we think that we have arrived!

Do we think that we know all

 and

 can play the role of God?

Then and only then are we able

 to handle the consciences  of our choices?

Without blaming everyone but the source of the conflict.

What happens to our mind when we grow up?

We are to make this earth better.

We are to teach the younger generations the positive

and best way to interact with others. 

We are to show

 patience,

 mercy,

 grace

 and compassion.

Why have we not taken this role seriously?

Why do we think we can act 

and

 react like a child that does not know better!

We do know better....

We need to be the bigger one!

We need to not always look at our pride.

We need not to always push our way.

IF we do continue to push our way and make those choices, 

we need to be prepared for consequences!

I have had to put this pattern of behavior into practice lately.

I have to bite my tongue.

I have had to slow down my mouth

 and let it catch up with my thoughts.

I have taken the other person's thoughts, actions and behavior into consideration.

However, when the innocent and helpless suffer it makes it that much harder.

Therefore I am speaking out today.

Since Jan. 1st of this year the hasty, reaction to people's pride caused

hundreds of people to suffer.

We are not just suffering from the physical, we are also suffering emotionally.

The worse part of this is that the helpless children have to suffer.

Suffer emotionally, spiritually and physically. 

Since the ban on American adoptions, there has been

several children that have died.  

In the past two days

 two children have not been able to 

come home

 and

 feel the love and hope that a family can offer.

These precious little ones suffered

 from many different causes of neglect.

 

These children had the opportunity to see love when their

mamma's and papa's got to spend time with them.

They got to bond and feel what hope feels like,

 then what?!

Adults got hurt and thought that all the other adults where not playing nicely.

Let us call it as it is!

This ban has nothing to do with the past abuse or even death of 

children here in the States, 

if that was true then

 every case

 of abuse and neglect here, there, or any where 

 will play into that choice. 

We know that this is not happening.

I know that there are problems  with the adoption realm.

Let us be realistic there are many programs that are broken in

any nation, city, or state.

If the problem is:

 IF we as adults truly cared about the children's 

suffering here or abroad we would come up with a solution,

INSTEAD of pointing blame and trying to start a battle

with the wars of words!

These actions never help or solve the problem at hand!

We can justify our actions for our choices

 till we are blue in the face.

This does nothing but harm, scar, or even kill the little ones who are

counting on the sound mind and choices of us our adults!

Therefore,

 if we are adults,

 then let us

sit down and come up with a solution 

to help the helpless.

We need to do this before another child has to pay the price!

This can be fixed if we are willing to 

make better choices 

and 

put our own hurts,

scars

intentions

aside

for the best solution for the children.

I hate the fact that people have to suffer for 

poor choices of  others.

I hate this fact

 however,

 it is a fact!

I know that the thing I can control is my actions and re-actions.

I want for all of us to do that!

PLEASE

PLEASE

THE CHILDREN ARE COUNTING ON US!

Please check out this website:

http://adoptanewattitude.com/media/promo-lets-adopt?0&fb_action_ids=10151925896564309&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.UkRK1g8aoQo.like&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

I am at Peace

There is not a day that passes when my mind doesn't

remembers the sights, sounds, and smells of Russia.

I remember the smiles of the caregivers as they

told us about the children who they take care.

I remember the smell of the lunch room

as the meal was getting ready to be served.

I remember the sound of children 

talking, singing and the echos of their foot steps

ringing, as they walked down the long hall.

If I close my eyes I can still hear them.

I remember the wonder in the eyes of the children.

I remember the joy and excitement in their eyes as 

they  got the chance to full fill the need

of self worth by sweeping, dusting and helping the 

younger child to be where they needed to be.

I remember the smiles on the faces of 

Paul ,Artem, the Director, and our facilitator

as we got to spend some time together.

 We made some great memories full of laughter

joy and tears.

I remember the love, peace and happiness 

I felt while there.

  

(pictures of the kiddos that live there)

I know that if our boy can not come home now

he will be taking care of, until he turns 21.

Then he would have to be moved again to another place.

That is what I use to think then I reflect on that ....

 and  I feel ashamed of my thoughts because

he is God's little one and he will be taken care of 

everyday of his life, even if I can not be with him.

I use to ask WHY? 

I have come to grips with the fact that I would not be able to handle why?

I could be going through a test or even a growing pain.

I could be selfish and only look at the small time  we had together!

I could be sick and tired of being a lesson for myself or someone else!

OR 

I could be thankful for the people and the children I got to hug,speak with, love on!

I could say Thank you for allowing and blessing the time together.

I  could remember that my heart, soul , life and being 

has been forever changed for the good.

I could remember that everything happens for a reason!

I could trust that God knows better than I.

 

That my friends is a better place to dwell.

I am at peace with what ever happens.

I choose to rely, trust and obey my purpose,

even when it is hard and painful to do so!

But it is not always based on my feelings

it is based on what I know!

I know that God is bigger and is in control no matter what happens.

I know that because of Him 

I have a love that is uncommon.

I have peace that people don't understand.

I have forgiveness that makes no sense.

I know it is not of myself. 

 I know who I was and who I am now.

 (this is a picture Artem and Paul took on the first day of meeting him)

 THANK YOU
to everyone who I got to meet

while in Russia, I know that 

you believe in your purpose also.

Thank you for caring the innocent.

Thank you for feeding them when they are hungry.

Thank you for allowing us to come over and meet you.

Thank you for allowing me to spend some time with my son.

You all are in my prayers and thoughts!

 

Seven long months!

The past seven months have been a long fight.

I have to fight back the tears every day that I sit in his room.

I fight back the anger that overwhelms my mind and actions.

I have to fight back the words of retaliation. 

I fight back the doubt and wounds that words have caused.

I fight back the negativity that has invaded my thoughts and dreams!

I have had to fight for people to understand 

how it is possible that I love this little boy.

How I care if he upset.

We spent a week with him and it only took that time

to really confirm that he is my child.

How long does it truly take to fall in love?  

I have had to fight

 I fight to understand why, why,why,

WHY 

why would this be allowed to happen. 

Why do some people get all they want and others have to suffer!

Why do the innocent always teach us the toughest lessons. 

Why does it take us so long to learn.

Why is it hard to love and let go.

WHY....

I have been fighting and it seems that it is in vain.

All of it!

I see with my eyes and I see nothing changing.
  Even so, I will keep fighting for the under dog.
I will keep fighting for love that this world does not understand.
I will keep fighting for the peace and the understanding 
that is uncommon.
I will fight for the right to be loved.
I will fight for the right to be apart of a family.
I will keep fighting because I know that I do not fight alone.
Even when I am bloody and bruised I will fight!
Even when it looks like it is over I will not throw in the towel.
I will fight til the end!
Because I know it will be a part of the bigger picture.
I will fight for my boy Artem
as well as other orphan's because I my self was adopted.

I am so thankful for the right to have a family, love and support.
For that very reason I will fight!
So give me one more round!
I am ready! 

Words can and should turn into actions!

In my life I have generally been the cheerleader,

I tend to think positively.

I am a sucker for happy endings.

I also tend to believe that there is good in every one.

I tend to say

" hang in there, help is on the way".

"It is only a season nothing last forever!"

"Always leave your loved ones with kind words"

"He who angers you controls you."

"Every  thing happens for a reason!"

Even when I say

"I love you or care about you!"

 

It is pretty different living out these words.

It is easy to say things but to actually believe it 

and live it, is a harder task

I have learned to be careful what I ask for.

I ask for patience and I am waiting and waiting!

I want to be more loving and kind 

and I find myself with an inner conflict.

Even when I am tired and I do not feel like giving more

I try to do what is Right.

It is sometimes hard to live the words that are to 

encourage, give peace, and show affection.

It is hard but not impossible.

I know that everything does happen for a reason.

 I also know that I do not need to know why.

It is hard to live out the words that I believe .

That is why I have friends and family to remind me.

Remind me of what the little things are 

all about!

I will make sure that I am careful to be true

to what I say.

I still know that everything is going to be alright!

In the end it will be o.k.

and if it is not o.k.

then it is not the end!

I do know that it will be alright !

Birthdays a time for celebration!

 

 

 

 

 

June is here!!!

It is the sixth month of the 2013 year.

In looking back it has appeared to me that

this year has had a dual affect.

Some days and minutes it seems way too fast.

 Some days and minutes it seems to be way to slow!

It is June and summer school starts Monday.  

I am filled with bitter sweet feelings and thoughts. 

I had planned on not doing this year and taking some time off.

I planned on bonding with my son.

I had planned on many fun and exciting adventures 

for my kiddos.  

I had planned on teaching Artem about the 

awesomeness of the zoo.

I know  for a fact my Kersten and Kelsee 

would love to show him their favorite sight 

at the zoo. 

We would have fun in the swimming pool and 

eating ice cream and just enjoying the 

summer day, as it ends with the light show from the 

lightening bugs.

 

 

 

There would be a grand celebration on June the 4th.

This the day in which this earth was graced with Artem's birth.

I love birthdays!   

These days are the days in which I take some time to reflect.

I am so thankful that Artem was born.  

I am so thankful for the time we got to spend with him.

I am missing his smile and his laugh

 as he was ready to run into my arms!

I had planned on his birthday being with us as he turned 7.

I wanted to give him a birthday party

full of laughter, smiles and a family

that loves him.

I wanted him to know we are so thankful 

he was born on June 4th 2006.

I thank his mom for choosing his life over her

needs and dreams, Thank you!

I am sure that was not a easy decision,

but it was a self less decision.

It also hit me that we will not be 

with Kersten on her 18th birthday this year.

She will already be at college.

Our time with Kel Kel is also limited.

So it starts!!

I know that physically I can not be with 

my babies on the actual

day in which I was blessed with the privilege 

of being their momma, however,

My love, support and pride will be felt in their hearts!   

Even though I can not be with my kiddos, 

the space does not change how I feel about them.

It does not change how I am a better mom

because of them.

It does not change the fact that I love them.

It does not change the fact that every year after

their birth, I will remember the moment 

my life was changed becausee of them.

Happy birthday my son Artem...

Thank you for allowing me to love you!

       

     

 

Time for everything!

I know that there is a time for everything,

however it is not easy to accept 

some times!

I am writing in honor and memory of a 

cute little boy named Daria.  

Due to egos and man thinking they know better

a sweet innocent little one is gone.

He will never know what is feels like to receive a hug 

from his family because he never made it that far!

He died in his own home land.

He had a family that wanted him and was

willing to take care of him,

HOWEVER,

they did not get chance! 

My heart breaks for that family.

I am sorry for your pain and your crushed dreams.

I would beg and plead if that would work!

I would ask for compassion and sympathy

I would give all that I had to save the 

innocent ones that deserve 

a kiss, a hug, a love of a family.

Daria I know that you are in your father's hands

you are in no more pain.

You are embraced with a love that will not end

no government, no person, nothing can 

change that now!

I do know that this world was better for having you in it!

Thanks for your lessons, may we learn from them!

Getting close to the end of a chapter!

I have read many books in my life.

I started with picture books and as I grew

the books also grew.

I love to read!

I enjoy and smile with the funny parts.

I cry with the sad parts.

I can see the characters.

I like to see the conflict and the resolution unfold

as I turn the pages.

 I do not like the ending of a good book.

Sometimes I find it sad because I can 

really relate to the characters and the 

journey they are on.

I have found that my life is alot like a book.

I have enjoyed the fun and growing parts.

I have cried and mourned  during the sad ones.

I have also found some times in my life to be challenging!

As the days approach the closing of a chapter

is nearing.

I can feel the beating of my heart.

I can feel the sadness of my thoughts.

I can feel the excitement as my daughter

is getting ready to step out on her own!  

As I reflect on how the years have passed 

I am thrilled, excited, nervous and sad all at the same time.

My daughter is growing up!

She is learning who she is and what she is to do

with the skills and abilities she is given!

She has been a blessing and I am so proud and honored to be her momma.

I am so thrilled to be a momma.  I love my children.

 My wonderful daughters have taught me so much.

The joy of laughter and acting silly.

The affects of not giving up.

 I have had a hard time recently trying to explain why.

My Kersten and Kelsee have had a rough few days.

Since January it has been a hard and bumpy road.

The days are filled with emotions and uncertainty.

The days have been full of waiting and learning.

The days have been full of tears, doubting and longing.

Longing for our family to have an addition.

For the past week the girls have slept in Artem's room.

This makes me sad and a little mad.

I can just see the girls cuddling him and playing with him.

I can see him smiling and laughing as they tickle him.

I see all these things with my minds eye 

then as I gaze around the room I see the 

chalkboard in his room with these words on it

"Artem  we are ready!"  

We are ready, waiting, praying!

This chapter of my book I would like to have a happy ending.

The more I wish for the waiting to end for Artem 

the closer my Kersten gets to  spreading her wings.

Here is the one thing that I do know,

This chapter is ending soon and I know it will have a happy ending!
It will be happy for both of my children!

Dreams, what do they mean?

I have had many dreams.

 I actually  have a re-occurring dream.

A couple of them!

 One of my re-occurring dream I enjoy having.

I had a dream about a place that I have visited.
I could feel the walls.
I could smell  the food.
I could hear the noises.
I could see my boy.
I could see him running around laughing.
I could feel  his hands holding mine.




Next thing I know he is no where to be found.
I remember running around the building looking for him.
I opened door after door and I could not find him.
Next thing I remember is that I was whisper in some ones ear.
There where several of them.
One after another I whispered in their ears.
The cool thing was that the people could not see me!
After I whispered in the last person's ear
I ran down the hall way and
opened the last door and I finally  got him....

I know that I feel like Abraham  and Sarah sometimes.
This waiting period is long, emotionally exhausting and not for the faint of heart.
Then I think about what the kids must be going through!!!
They are confused, worried, wondering if they are the problem.
I wonder if they are finding it hard to face the days.
I wonder if they cry when the think of us.
I wonder if they have dreams about the future.
I know they do!
I want to tell all the kids to hang in there.
Please don't give up!
WE will not give up on you!
We love you and would move heaven and earth to get to you.
If I could I would whisper in your captive's ear,
"Allow the dreams to shape the future"
"Please let me go home to my family!"
I am singing this song with the kids!

Please God bring our children home!!!