I am not bankrupt!

                                                                                 

This week seemed to take all my patience

all my understanding

all my strength

all my wisdom

all my love

all of me

 and

I  looked to God for his loving arms!

I felt alone and bankrupt.

I was running on the negative side of life!

By Friday I so wanted to be a robot!

I was tired of feeling.

I was tired of trying.

I was tired of getting the raw deal.

I was tired of that knife in my back.

I was tired of being human and having to deal with other humans!

I screamed and shouted about how

 I did not want to feel anything anymore!!!

After my little fit.  After my little pity party

after my rant, I looked at all the pictures of 

my kids, my girls, my husband

my twin, my friends, my in laws

my sisters, my brothers,my boy

my life's interactions so far and I 

realized that I would not be me if I was a Robot.

To be honest it was not suppose to be about me!

I was and still need to show who gave me everything!

It is suppose to be the prove of His love at work in my life.

I know that I am human and I make mistakes and 

I do and say things that I should not to

however

 if my life can be the proof of His true love then 

I have done what I need to. 

This is the how I know that God is real,

There is still love that is uncommon in this very common world.

There is forgiveness that this world can not explain.

There are still and will be living proof that God is real.

No matter where I am 

No matter what I do

 No matter what I say

I want my love to look like Him!

As our flight approaches I really want to make

sure that I am full of His love and not 

look at things thru a negative sight!

I want our journey to resemble 

the love that made my father love and still wants

me even after my little baby fit!