Tis the Season!

I am a Christmas person!

I love the Christmas season!
I love the excitement in the eyes of the children.

I do enjoy the increased 

random acts of kindness.

I also enjoy seeing 

people be more like they should be.

I love seeing the joy and happiness.

Most of all I enjoy taking some time

out of this world and my time 

to truly remember 

that I am so loved.

That my Savior was born

in a manger.

The King came to save us

and at that very moment

crushed all preconceived

ideas and thoughts about

how this King was to rule

the world!

He was born in a manager....

He was wrapped in dirty rags...

He brought a love that was not earned.

This love was received by some 

and rejected by others.

Regardless of what we as humanity thought,

 He always had a heart for us.

He instilled this heart for the lost,

widowed, lonely and orphaned.

He showed us how to forgive and learn from it.

He showed us kindness.

He showed us mercy and grace.

He showed us his heart for servant hood.

He did not want us to be only concerned with us!

He wanted us to see the big picture that lays outside of us.

As I sit here this Thanksgiving day watching the snow fall.

I am reminded that I have neglected the season before Christmas.

Thanksgiving.

I am now made aware of the fact, I can not 

truly enjoy and understand the Christmas season

without 

a thankful heart first!

I am taking some time right now

 to 

say out loud some of the things 

that my heart is thankful for.

I am thankful for a job that I love.

I am thankful for the lives I get to interact with.

I am thankful for a warm house.

I am thankful for a car that works.

I am thankful for sight, the ability to walk,

the ability to hear.

I am thankful for a love that this world needs.

I am thankful for the forgiveness 

that many do not understand,

however, one day they will see it!

I know I have made a truck load of 

mistakes and I have hurt

many in my own selfish

ambitions!

I am thankful for the family he gave me.

The family near and far from me on this day.

Distance does not change the place

you hold in my heart. 

I am thankful that two of my children 

are with me on this day.

I am thankful that I got to 

spend some time with

my son!

I am thankful for his touch,

I will for ever be changed 

by his smile

his laughter

his big brown eyes 

where I saw love!

I will never forget that little boy.

I am thankful for you my son

Artem Malcolm Mosley.

I am thankful for the reminder

to never take time for granted.

Thank you for helping me to grow outside of myself.

I thank God for that time with him

and the time without him.  

I thank God for the chance to grow 

and learn the lessons 

of love, compassion, and empathy

that only He can give me .

I know that I would not have learned

these life changing lessons 

without the loving hand of my God.

He brought to my remembrance  one of those lessons.

I was driving with my oldest princess Kersten 

the other day.

While driving to the store 

I heard a song.

This song  helped 

me through my time of grief in 2012

when my heart broke

with the sounds of 

a slamming door.

It did not matter how hard 

I pounded on that door,

no matter how loud

I screamed,

the door was shut!

This song made me cry once more.

Not because of my bitterness, anger

or 

the thought of sadness.

I cried because God did what he promised.

He turned my pain into beauty.

I am a better person.

I am a better mother.

I am better because of HIM!

Because of my lessons 

I am thankful for the ability 

to mother to  another princess.

I am thankful for the trust

to be mother.

I am thankful that in 

12 days 

I will be able to put my

arms around you!

I will be able to hear

your laugh that 

I have only dreamed about.

This Thanksgiving 

I am so thankful

I want to make sure my life shows it!

I wanted to make sure that I 

took some time to 

truly reflect on the many

reasons 

for my heart being full this season!
I am thankful for the rain, sun,
and wind that comes with each season!

So let us be ready for the  Christmas season

by

remembering and taking part

 of the Thanksgiving season!

My prayer

This is the prayer

 I am praying for my littlest Lucy Wu today.

 She is now in the transitional stage

 leaving her Foster family to the orphanage

 until We get her in 17 days!

 Please say some prayers for that sweet baby.

I pray her heart will feel

the love when our eyes met.

I pray she will  be soothed 

by the loving arms of her sisters.

I pray she will find peace

in her daddy's lap.  

I pray that she will 

enjoy being our daughter!

I know that I will love

being her mom.

I am feeling 22!

I am feeling 22...

Yeah that is in 22 days we

will be flying to China to get

our baby girl!

I am so blessed to be your momma!

I am overwhelmed with a ton

of emotions.

Will you look at me and smile?

Will you hug your sisters?

Will you hold daddy's hand?

I know that I can't wait to 

hug you!

I know that I want 

to comfort you.

I know that I want to 

brush your hair.

I want to hear your laughter

as you and your sisters

tickle each other.

I know that you are 

are so very loved.

Can't wait to see you soon!

Love you Lucy Wu Tian!!!!

Sitting, thinking and remembering!

Before we started this newest journey

in our life and our family, I thought.

I thought about many things.

I remember talking with 

the Social worker for our

home study.

I remember showing her some 

of  the rooms in our house.

I also remember telling her

that I would not be

decorating Lucy's room 

until we were officially matched.

Now that time has come and 

the happiness and joy is over whelming!

I know that I need to work

on  Lucy's room.

I know that I need 

to paint the walls.

I need to get the bed

set up.

I need to make time.

As I sit here on the floor.

I think am I really

needing more time

or am I waiting?

Am I waiting ?

Waiting or avoiding?

As I sit here I remember the 

joy of decorating another little one's room.

I remember all the work we put into his room.

I remember how Paul picked the colors.

I remember the girls painting the walls.

I remember laying the carpet.

I remember putting his bed 

and dresser the room.  

I remember the same feeling 

engulfing my being!

I am over whelmed with emotions

as I look around the room.

AM I ready to start decorating this room?

Am I ready to face all the joys and fears 

that occupy the first stroke of paint.  

Am I ready to jump..

Am I ready to trust that this little 

princess will be home 

with us in a little bit of time?

I am ready!

I am ready to allow the feelings 

to help shape me into someone

that is better.

I am ready to be a mom again.

I am ready to have this little one

run through the house.

I am ready to have this gift 

help me with supper.

I am ready!

I am ready because Miss. Lucy Wu

was not ready to be an orphan..

.

Did you hear me?????

I AM READY

BECAUSE MY PRECIOUS

MISS. LUCY WU

WAS NOT READY TO BE

AN ORPHAN!

 

tick tock goes the clock...

Time can be a friend and a Foe!

I also know that 

you can not recycle time either.

So finding a happy balance is

sometimes a huge under taking. 

I have experienced events in my life

that have seemed like forever.

I have also experienced events 

that have seemed to end 

way too soon!

Life seems to be full of 

those time balancing acts.

I am not in one of those events!

We are waiting to become parents again!

 I am in my final trimester.  

We are approaching our due date!

Oct is next month and we are waiting 

for our flight plans.

We are also working on getting every thing 

in order before the trip.  

Time can not get here fast enough,

however time seems to be 

quickly passing.  

Soon I will be hugging this cutie....

I can not believe I will be her momma.

I want to Thank her biological parents 

for loving her so much that 

they are willing to share her with us.

Thank you to her foster parents for

taking care of her until we get there.

Thank God he brought this little one 

into our hearts and soon

in her forever home.  

While we are waiting please pray 

that all goes well.

That was the fastest 2-4 months!

I am always amazed when I 
watch people run.  
Some people are made for it
some are not.
I would be one of those
that are not made
to run.
I am almost sure 
that when I run
someone would ask,
"Is that lady having a seizure?"
It is not pretty!

On the other hand 
I have seen people look
flawless while running.
I do not know how this is possible.
However, I am in awe of it!
The past few weeks have seemed
liked both fast and slow at the same time.
Is that possible!!

When our paper work was sent 
internationally, we were told
that our log in date was to be
June 19th, that could be the date
our paper would be processed.
I will tell you that 
our paper work was logged in 
within two days.
That was a shock and a precursor 
for what was to come.
our paper work was logged in 
on June the 8th!
Then we were told that 
it is hard to predict the wait time.
However, we were told that
we would have to wait 2-4 months 
to get the official letter
saying that we have been matched.
Well.......

We found out yesterday
on Wednesday July 16th 
that we were matched.
It only took them 5 weeks and a day
for us to receive the green light!

We as a family are a big mixing bowl 
of emotions.
Excited, nervous, happy
and at times speechless in awe!
We are now in the last trimester 
of pregnancy.
That is when the nesting happens 
and the reality of 
becoming a parent again
becomes clear!
This is when the rubber meets the road.

I will be honest with you!
It has been a journey 
of learning, growing and applying 
the knowledge gathered.
It has not always been 
easy or painless!
This journey has forever 
changed me as a person!
In 2012 our family changed.
We fell in love with this amazing 
little miracle called Artem.
We were prepared and able 
to bring him home and
make some wonderful memories!
Until misunderstandings and 
an unwillingness
to move past an eye for an eye
mentality slammed the door!

Instead of at home with us,
he is forced to stay 
in an institution.
I do know that there are some
wonderful people
who do care for him there.
I do know that he is also put up
for adoption again!
He can only be adopted from his home country.
I pray for him and his extended family.
I will tell you that time, distance, 
or  placement has 
NO AFFECT 
on our love for this little boy.
He is still my son.
No matter where he is located!
No matter where I am located!
No matter what comes or does not come!
He is mine!

People can not take away love!
It is something inside of the soul!
I know that I have received this love 
openly  and it has changed 
me from the inside out!
So to my precious blessing Artem
I love you and no one
can take that away!
Even if you do not remember my face
or my voice or if you 
are not cognitively aware of
your family. 
You will still feel our love in your soul.
You will still feel like you belong!
You are my son!
I will always claim you!


2015 marks another change
in our family.
Our hearts are ready for another
member of our family.  
This bundle of character
is my youngest daughter!

She gets her attitude of course 
from her father!!
She gets her looks from her 
momma and older sisters!
We will be able to travel
within 3-4 months
to bring her home!
WOW!!!
My sweet Lucy we are
so thrilled to have you
as a part of our family!
If you are thankful for your
family, sense of belonging
and the love you feel,
could you please help us!
We are in need of prayers and support!
If you are willing and able 
could you please help financially.
We are relying on the kindness
 of others who feel 
a calling to help families!
Are you one who will help?
We will be posting a 
go fund me link and 
another fundraising link soon!
Keep your eyes open 
and 
Thanks for helping!

Hey you Guys!!!!

Hey you guys!!!! 

I have exciting news. 

Our Dossier is on it's way to Lucy's country

 it will be logged in that country on June 19th,

 then we will wait

 for the next two -four months 

for an official match.

While waiting

 we get to fill out more paper work 

and start sending her some pictures and letters. 

She will find out we want her!

WOW!!!

 She will know we want to be her parents! 

Her life and world will be forever changed.

 She will have big sisters

 that can not wait

 to spend some time with her.

I am filed with many emotions,

 happiness, 

joy,

 anxiety,

 and wonderment. 

I am going to be a momma again! 

I am planning on 

posting pictures of our little sweet pea

 as soon as we get the official match letter.

 Be prepared for many proud momma

 pictures and comments!

Thanks for your continued support!

 Lucy here we come!

ARTEM'S BIRTHDAY!

June 4th 2015

It is my handsome prince's birthday!
Happy Happy birthday to you

My baby boy!

My little man who is growing up.

He is losing his baby face 

and has grown about 2 inches.  

His smile is contagious 

and his hugs I miss.
I long for the day that I can
swoop him up in my arms again!

I remember the first time I met him.

It feels like yesterday.

I remember his smile 

and his high pitch laughter.

I remember how inquisitive he was.  

I remember how much 

he liked the candy I gave him.

I remember how he looked at me
with those  beautiful brown eyes.
I remember the moments when those eyes met mine.
I remember how it felt to cradle him in my arms.
I will always be thankful for the time with him.

I wonder what it would be like 

to tuck him in at night!
I wonder if he remembers us.
I wonder if he smiles when he does.

I wonder does he still remember us
 and is his waiting for a family

 a burden to his soul.  

I wonder how things might have been

so very different if he was home with us now!
I wonder if he likes the song  Happy Birthday.
I wonder if he claps to the beat .

I pray his heart is full 

and his vision is clear.
I pray that his biological family
is well and happy.
I thank them for allowing us
to get to know him.
I thank all those wonderful people
who care for him on a daily basis.
I know that some of them love him.
I know that I am forever changed
due to this little one.
I want him to be loved.
I want him to know the love
and support of a family.
I want him to have a family
even if it is not with us.
I pray that someone over in his 
home country
finds him and 
takes him home!
Please someone love him and 
care for him take him home.
That is my plea!
Take a moment to fall in love with
this nine year old prince.  
That would be the most important birthday gift ever.
Could you help by granting him a home?

  

Happy birthday Artem!

Momma, Daddy, Cee Cee and Kelsee loves you!
To the moon and back baby boy!

May Day!

I remember loving May day

at a very early age.

I love the thought of making 

baskets of goodies

and leaving them for people.

It is now I have another reason to love May day.

Today is the birthday of my pretty princess

Lucy Wu.

Her estimated birth date is today.

Estimated due to the fact of no one knowing 

for sure when she was born.

Her biological mother loved her

so much that she left her on a train.

 A highly populated area.

She knew some one would find her.

  Little Lucy was not a new born, 

that is another reason why I know 

her momma loved her. 

She took some time to think about 

what was best for Lucy and I 

know in my heart of hearts that 

was not a easy decision to make.  

I am so thankful that her momma

decided to give birth to her.

I am also thankful for the journey 

our paths are on right now.

When the police found my baby girl

they named her after the city in which 

she was born.

They also gave her a middle name

which is rare.  

I can tell you that her middle name means 

hope in her language.

I would have to agree with them.  

I think she is going to teach many 

the basic concept of love.  

She will also teach people to hope in something 

that is bigger than themselves.  

She is the hope that love will

win the war.  

I just wanted to take a minute 

and tell you Happy birthday little one.

I am so grateful that you where

born on this day.  

I am thankful that we will be

able to celebrate your birth

with you, hopefully next year!  

I hope that your seven birthday 

was full of laughter and

some cake.  

I love you and hope to see you 

my beauty queen!

I wanted to thank her birth parents.

Thank you for caring about her deeply!

Time......

It Amazes me that time 

can pass by so quickly 

and so slowly at the same time.

How is that possible?  

I have noticed that some people

are more aware of time 

and how to use it.

I have also noticed that some people

are afraid of time 

and become desperate.

There are certain events that happen

in one's life that redirect

the sight back

 to the important things.  

It can be the sudden and 

unexpected death of a 

loved one.

It can be a promotion at work

It can be the celebration of a new birth. 

It does not matter if the event 

is good or bad,

 if it affects you it will change you!

We are all changed by certain times in our life.

I also know that time is the one thing 

you can never get back or recycle.  

The older I get the more I am 

aware that time is important.

It is also important what I do

with the time I am given.  

This was made more clear with the 

recent event of my close friend's husband's illness.  

He has been in the hospital battling 

a flesh eating virus and renal failure.  

Time can not pass fast enough.

Time seemed to stop.

However, he needs time to heal.

This helps me to keep focus on the important things!

As I wait until our paperwork flies across

the many miles of ocean, I am 

forced to deal with this concept of time.

I want it to pass quickly, however,

I need to make sure that 

I am doing what I need to in this time.

I need to make sure that I am still

leaving a legacy and not rushing to the end.

I do know that this life is a journey.

It is a process.

It is a gift.

It is hard to find that balance right now!

Some moments I fee like the world 

is spinning out of control.

There are other moments that 

I am calm and everything is right in the world.

While we are waiting please pray for us.

We need peace, wisdom, and knowledge.

Also say a prayer for my friend's husband please!

DS Awareness

National Down Syndrome Day 3-21

IS IT WORTH IT?

What is your answer to this question?

Is the weight gain, swollen limbs,

nausea, and the long 

hours of labor worth it?

Most would say Yes!

Is the broken arm, wrecked knee,

and long hours of practice

worth it?

Most would say Yes!

Is the joy, pride,

legacy, and the time spent

worth it?

Most would say Yes!

I have heard this question many times as 

we travel this road of adoption.

 I do not remember 

signing or reading a document 

that guarantees 

"Everything  that is worth it, will be easy."

I do not remember having that much control

over what happens

that I can choose and pick

which life altering change

I can deal with at that time!

Is living life and 

trying to make every minute count

worth it?

Is seeing the face of the people 

you love, worth it?

 Is hearing the words that 

you are loved, worth it?

Is falling into the arms 

of someone who 

makes you feel safe

worth it?

So If we have to do finger prints and

FBI backgrounds checks again,

so be it!

If we have to fill out another 

document that states 

that we live here and work for them,

So be it!

If we have to change our

selfish ways to love

another beautiful soul 

so be it!

If we have to pay to have all

this paper work walked to 

the office it needs to be

so be it!

If we have share our time

with someone in need of it

so be it!

If we have to wait,

so be it!

I am here to tell you that it is all worth it.

To love and to have a person apart of

your family is always worth it!

To leave a print of love on their soul to match yours!

I believe that it is worth it!

I believe that everyone should have a place that they call home.

I believe that we are able and longing 

to make this dream come true 

for this little girl.

So love, patience, kindness, long suffering

are they worth it, to see the change of one soul?

Is it worth it be connected to people?

My answer is Yes!

That is my final answer!

It is well with me...

By nature I am a very independent person who has 

a plan and can see what needs to

be done and does it!

There are moments of the day 

where I feel uncertain 

and unsure of myself.

These moments of uncertainty come

from my lack of sight.

I am a visual person.  I like bright colors.

I like the motion that a windmill makes.

I like to watch the clouds form into different animals.

I like to look down the road and see what is next.

I get anxious when I can not see things,

Then my default setting takes over and 

I feel the need to hold on to the things.  

The need to control what I can 

feel with my hands,

 takes over of my senses.

I try to convince myself that this will

help to ease my anxiety.

It only lasts for a short time.

There have been a multitude of moments in my life 

when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt

God designed it,

directed it,

and 

I had to trust without questions.

and it was all well.

I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt

that there has been times 

when I thought I had the better plans.

I knew it all.

I thought I could fix it!

When I look back on my life and see some moments,

it reminds me that I have a choice.

I get to choose many things.

The most important choice I can make

 is to trust in the one who will

always, always 

love me.

I can trust in my own abilities, and strength.

I can trust I know better even though

my vision can be tunneled!

I can trust in my own awesome self,

 I can plan and execute something that is so far above me.

Why would I do that!

I know myself and I know my faults and flaws!

I also know that I can not even control my own body.

If I could I would not have migraines.

I would have a perfect healthy body and that is not the case.

 I know that I can not possibly do

 what God is suppose to do!

When I am reminded of that fact

it makes my choice easier.

Even though my physical eyes can not see

everything that is coming.

My heart and being 

can see his faithfulness.

I can close my eyes and hear my children's voices.

I know just by the sound of their voice who it is.

I can close my eyes 

and feel the support and love

that my husband gives me.

I can close my eyes and still see a sunset 

that happened last week.

I am learning to close my physical eyes and trust

in what I can not always see.

I cannot see love but I feel it!

I cannot see forgiveness but I can feel it!

I can not see peace but I can feel it!

I cannot see why some things happen and some do  not!

I can feel that peace that all is well.  

Today at this very moment I choice 

not to use my physical eyes to see things.

I want to see the way God sees!

I will trust Him where every the road may bend.

I will trust Him because I have chosen 

to focus my eyes on the one!

We as humans all have a focal point 

we direct our attention to 

in times of good and sorrow!

May it be directed to the one who is

the source of strength.

 Psalms 121:

1I lift up my eyes toward the mountains—

from where will my help come?

2My help is from the LORD,

maker of heaven and earth.

That fact along makes it well with  my soul!

I will try not to fight against you.

I will try to be a better listener.

I will try to listen to your words.

I will try not to doubt what you have said.

I will let my soul go and cling to you!