It has officially been one year since our world changed.
One year since the hot tears of anger flowed down my face.
One year since my boy was refused his own family.
One year of heart aches, hoping and praying
One year later we still do not have our boy.
Do you want to know how easy it is to become a bitter person?
EASY!
I have caught myself looking at people that have
a happy child at the park playing
and
I think that should be us with Artem.
I see parents that hurt their children and again
I wonder why!
The bitterness can take root as quickly as that.
I was in Artem's room today and I just sat
on the floor as I remembered making the walls in his room.
I remember how we, family and friends wrote
our thoughts and prayers
on the two by fours before we hung the sheet rock.
I remember how the girls and I sat in there and
wondered what toys he would like better.
I remember the colors that Paul choice for his room.
I remember sanding the walls and not
complaining once because it was for him.
Then I went to his dresser and found some shirts
we had bought for him.
Again I asked why, why, why....
I can see how people that have done this whole adoption
process can get bitter if it does not go the way
it was planned.
I know how a heart can break
when you had
planned,
dreamed
longed
and
envisioned another little blessing to come
be a part of the family and it has not happened.
I know how helpless it feels.
I know how the tears
burn,
enrage,
and sometimes
will not cease.
I know how you feel so lost.
What to do now!?!??!
I know how it feels to have someone
rip the carpet out from under your feet.
I also know how it can make me a
skeptic,
sarcastic,
and a very bitter person.
When I look in the mirror and see that person
it makes me sad and angry.
That is not who I am!
That is not what I am about!
I also know that is takes work and
always a watchful eye to notice yourself
slipping back into that bitter person.
That person who is not always looking for
the bad in things.
That person who believes that there
was some kind of guarantee in this world.
I can be bitter with what I think I should have got!
I can be happy with the time that I did get!
I am so thankful for the chance to met Artem.
I am so blessed to have spent some time with him and his friends.
I will never forget those smiles, laughs and the stories.
I will always hold him in my heart.
He will always be my little man!
He will always make me smile when I look at his face.
He will always be a part of this family
even if he is not near us at this time!
I stamped him as a Mosley and he is mine.
No matter what this world may say!
I love you Artem and we are not giving up on you.
Your whole family is fighting for you baby boy.
Just like Kersten said,
OHANA
means family.
Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten!
One year later we still do not have our boy.
Do you want to know how easy it is to become a bitter person?
EASY!
I have caught myself looking at people that have
a happy child at the park playing
and
I think that should be us with Artem.
I see parents that hurt their children and again
I wonder why!
The bitterness can take root as quickly as that.
I was in Artem's room today and I just sat
on the floor as I remembered making the walls in his room.
I remember how we, family and friends wrote
our thoughts and prayers
on the two by fours before we hung the sheet rock.
I remember how the girls and I sat in there and
wondered what toys he would like better.
I remember the colors that Paul choice for his room.
I remember sanding the walls and not
complaining once because it was for him.
Then I went to his dresser and found some shirts
we had bought for him.
Again I asked why, why, why....
I can see how people that have done this whole adoption
process can get bitter if it does not go the way
it was planned.
I know how a heart can break
when you had
planned,
dreamed
longed
and
envisioned another little blessing to come
be a part of the family and it has not happened.
I know how helpless it feels.
I know how the tears
burn,
enrage,
and sometimes
will not cease.
I know how you feel so lost.
What to do now!?!??!
I know how it feels to have someone
rip the carpet out from under your feet.
I also know how it can make me a
skeptic,
sarcastic,
and a very bitter person.
When I look in the mirror and see that person
it makes me sad and angry.
That is not who I am!
That is not what I am about!
I also know that is takes work and
always a watchful eye to notice yourself
slipping back into that bitter person.
That person who is not always looking for
the bad in things.
That person who believes that there
was some kind of guarantee in this world.
I can be bitter with what I think I should have got!
I can be happy with the time that I did get!
I am so blessed to have spent some time with him and his friends.
I will never forget those smiles, laughs and the stories.
I will always hold him in my heart.
He will always be my little man!
He will always make me smile when I look at his face.
He will always be a part of this family
even if he is not near us at this time!
I stamped him as a Mosley and he is mine.
No matter what this world may say!
I love you Artem and we are not giving up on you.
Your whole family is fighting for you baby boy.
Just like Kersten said,
OHANA
means family.
Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten!
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