I used to be very happy when I saw his smiling face.
I would laugh when I would dream about
what food he would like to eat.
We would wonder if he would like cars, blocks and colors.
I would dream of the day we could take him to the Zoo.
I looked forward to the day that our family
picture would feature our newest member.
I could see Kersten looking into his brown eyes and kissing his nose.
I could see Kelsee tickling his tummy and messing up his hair.
I would look at his picture several times a day
and I would be able to see him with us!
He would have sang and shouted and loved
the lights and music from Winter Jam.
He could have played with Nick and Kallie.
He could have enjoyed all the love from Aunt Julie
and Uncle Lonnie.
Nate could have taught him ho to play the newest
game in his ipad.
Kaylee could have taught him how to properly eat hot chicken!
Eggy could have taught him how to lie to his momma
about a house guest.
Bethany could have just listen to him
and give him the support he needed.
Ray would have taught him the fine art of ADD at the Mall.
Even today when we went prom dress shopping,
I thought of how much fun he would have by helping.
He would have enjoyed the many different shops
and of course all the toys!
When I came home I was thinking of him yet once more!
When I looked down the hall I would
image him running and yelling our names to come
save him.
SAVE HIM, That is what we are trying to do!
Since Dec 31st our hearts have been on the edge!
That is putting mildly.
How do you expect us to feel when our son might not
be able to come home to the family that loves him!
This sitting on pins and needles have really done a trick on all our hearts and souls!
Kersten is graduating soon and has a great deal
to think about and plan for.
She came to me with tears in her eyes and
asked when Artem was coming home?!?!?!
What can I tell her?
What?????
I don't know?
In the middle of a hug and sobbing Kelsee
joins in and says I want my brother home.
Me too!!
Me too I wanted to shout!!
I have had some good days and I have had some bad days.
There has been less times of smiling and dreaming.
I get caught up in what I can not see.
I see the big red stop sign and I yell in frustration!
I start to talk to God and asking him to explain all of this!
Lately I have not been a good daughter.
I have focused on the impossible side and said O.K.
That is until I heard this song.
It is about Abraham and Sarah.
I have felt like them lately. I know what I am promised.
Artem is ours!
Now and in the coming days of this year,
I need to listen and apply this song to my heart!
I am so blessed for God to dream his dream in me!
I will believe!
I will be patient with the journey.
I will not let go of what is mine!
I will believe in what I can't see!
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