I had a dream.....

The other night I had a dream.

I was standing in the heat and sun while waiting.

I went to walk back inside and only needed one more step to reach the front door,

when I felt a drop of rain run down my head.  

I looked up and the rain fell.  I began to dance in the rain and shout with joy.

I thought for sure that was going to happen today, but it stopped after 12 drop!.

I wanted to have that memory again. The one where I can dance in the rain.

I remember when the girls where little and how much they loved going outside 

and dancing in the rain.  

I remember the laughter and screams as we stomped in the water puddles.

I also enjoyed coming in the house after the fun.

We would share that memory over a cup of hot chocolate.

I was so hoping that would happen again soon. 

Even though I was hoping for a thunder storm 

I am thankful for the moisture that we got.

And the chance to reminisce.

Even though it is hot and dry life is not all bad.  

 We got the news about our paper work being in Smolensk!

We have now entered the translation process.

I feel for the translation people.  I do know how many documents we sent!

We have also had some wonderful person or people that donated to 

our cause.  

I am so overwhelmed and beyond words for 

everyone that has and will continue to help us bring

our boy home!

Thank you Thank You... I do hope to have that same memory with 

him playing in the rain as I did with the girls when they 

where younger.  

I will hopefully have a good dream tonight.  

I hope that all of you will take some time and enjoy those memories

that have marked your heart.

 

tick tock tick tock

Wow where did this week go!

The girls went to camp and I have been busy with

painting, mowing, watering, cleaning

and waiting!

Our paper work was Fed Ex and is on it's way.

That makes me smile and gives my tummy lots of butterflies.

I am so thrilled and so very excited to be hopefully traveling soon!

I can not  wait to see our boy and where he lives.

A wonderful place to see.

The beautiful scenery and amazing culture.

 Plus those amazing people that live there!

This little gorgeous boy lives there.

We had a great time this weekend with a friend's son.  

His name is Toby hi also has Downs he came from the Ukraine about a year ago.

This little boy has made me miss and want my little boy that much more!

I am now going to post my Kersten's favorite song right now.

It is an amazing song and it speaks volume

this is the way we are feeling right now!

Who knew!?!?!

All the paper work for our dossier has been sent!!!

I went to FedEx and sent it off to our adoption agency.

Can any one take a guess at how much all that paper work weighed?

ANY ONE!!!!

It was about four pounds, yes a small cotton wood tree!

Who knew that paper would weigh  so much....

Any way it is off and it will be received in Maryland on Monday at 3:00 p.m.

I am thrilled to death to be done with that paper work for now!

 Another step done and it feels good.

I just got done with asking the the girls
what song we should put on the blog today and they both have their favorites.
So they settled it the old fashion way.
They yelled and screamed and did
rock, paper scissors.
SOOOOOOOOOOO
 the song for today is Kelsee's favorite song right now.
It is by Brit Nicole and it is called look like love.
This song has a very good message and it should leave you thinking.
Thinking every time you encounter some one while you are walking down the street.
It should make you stop and change to be a better person.
So please enjoy this song and celebrate with us!
We do want to look like love to this world,
because we all know that it needs it!

CRY BABY

Yesterday I was a cry baby full of tears and frustration 

due to the lack of control that I do not have!

I had to face the disaster that my emotional train wreck caused.

I talked to the nice lady at the Dr. Office this morning 

and she got us a time with the Dr.

that meeting  made me a little late getting to summer school
 and one of my co-workers gave me grief, Thanks Lumber Jack Boy!:)
Any way back to the phone conversation with the nice lady at the clinic. 

I did applause for my tears and frustration that interrupted my

phone call on Friday.
With some yummy muffins  and many words of apologies
I got our last papers done!
So the end of the story so far is that I send out the paper work to Lincoln
for it to be appostilled.
I am sure that every one within a five mile radius heard my screams of joy!
I know that I also did my happy dance and it was not pretty,
however,
I felt good!

Now today I feel happy and hopeful and that is a great feeling.
I also came to the knowledge of this very important fact:
What good is control if you do not know where you are going? 
I will trust that all happens for a reason.
I know that reason is to help me learn a life lesson.
I am ready!
I think I am in the right place and state of mind.
Let's see what hurdles come tomorrow!
I do know that I will be able to handle it.

I do have a favor if any one of you have any ideas of fundraisers
please let me know!
Thanks for all your support, love and your listening ear.
Sometimes I just need to be human for while!

Have a great night and sleep well
may your day be full of smiles and memories that help
make you into a better person!

 

bubbling over!!!!

Have you ever felt like you where drowning

while you where standing on dry land.

I have had that feeling several times while on this journey.

I tried with all my heart not to lose control of my emotions while on the phone today.

 Here is the story of how my emotions got the best of me!

The bubbling effect started on the 26th of June when our paper work was sent back.

We tried to send off our paper work to the Sectary of state to get appostilled.

They sent it back and told us that they cannot appostiled copies.

We need  to have the Dr. that did our physical, sign the same document

two more times instead of coping it. 

Guess what, he went on vacation for two weeks!  

I was a little upset but I thought I would and have to wait 

until July the 9th when he gets back.

The tears started to build in my eyes when the nice lady told me 

the Dr. did not have any days open until

 Monday July 16th. 

The drowning feeling over came me and the tears

cooled my warm face while I cried.

The nice lady on the other end of the line asked if I was o.k.

I responded  to that statement with 

a light and shackie "I am ok"

I know that I should not be so upset with having to wait for another week,

however, 

I want those papers sent over so we

can get our boy home.

After I hung up the phone I sobbed and tried to search for meaning 

what does this mean?

What do we need to do now?

I asked and prayed for an answer and all I got was a 

peace and the assurance to keep moving ahead.

I then called the Sectary of state again to see what else we could do?

She told me that we could get those copies  notarized.

So we will write a quick statement and have the copies notarized again.

We will send them off and see what happens.  I hope that it goes well.

I want to have the paper work sent and start the process 

of our first flight.

I am reminded on an hourly basis that I am not in control

 and I do not like it sometimes.

People try to be nice and remind me of that fact.

 I am aware of it, because if I was in control

it would be different. 

One thing I know is that if I did not react

with such emotion 

I would be dead inside.

I also know that it is a slow and painful

way to die, from the inside out!

Some times I hate my humanity  and my emotions

however

I hate being a robot more.

I just needed you all to know how this journey has 

changed me into a better person.  

There are days and moments that cause me to feel overwhelmed.

There are days that I just laugh and smile when 

I think of our boy and if he will like cars  or blocks better.

There are moments that I just cry with pain, happiness, sorrow

and frustration.

 I do not doubt that he is my son.

I do not doubt that he will enjoy his life with the love and support of this family.

Even if I have moments when I feel like I am drowning, 

I know who my help comes from.

Have you ever exeperinced this?

It was a warm summer day, the sun was shining.

I was filled with excitement, joy and trepidation.

I was 15 and learning how to properly turn a corner.  

I remember the look on my sisters face as she told me to slow down when turning a corner.

I replied," I will"

The way I remember the events is like this:

I was going 30 miles per hour approaching the corner.

After the reminder to slow down I did!

I was only going 25 miles per hour and I thought the car handled very well.

If you ask my sister she will tell

 you a made up version that is not true!

 

I had this same day but many years later when I was

trying to teach my own daughters to drive.

The warmth of the sun was felt on my face, while  fear gripped  my heart.

Through many hours of laughter and screaming,

two of my daughters have their very own license.  

The third one is not far behind and the fourth  girl has a few more years.

I have one of them that likes the lead foot on the gas while turning the corners.

She should be a race car driver!

(She reminds me of me at that age, O boy are we in for it!)

I have one that likes to just plain speed.

My Kelsee is now learning......

She has to learn to balance her foot on the brake and gas.  

You know what I am talking about the quick stop and jerk motion,

while she repeats the phrase "I am sorry."

She is getting better and I laugh when I think of those memories.

I know that the girls and I both enjoyed the time spent together.

The same applies for this current journey of Mission Possible.

It has reminded me of that fun time with my daughters in the car.

Just when I think the road is straight and I could put the pedal 

to the metal.  

There comes a yellow slow down caution sign!

Just when I think I have all the paper work done right

there comes a curve in the road.

The past week or two has seemed 

  like a trip with not stop quick and jerk motion.  

I would like this to be a smooth and painless journey, 

however

it is far from that!

I know that sometimes life is like that,

full of unexpected detours

hours of construction

miles of road in front of you 

and miles of road in back of you.

I can enjoy the trip!

I can and will enjoy the laughter, screams and stories.

This will be the legacy for our boy and any other children to follow.

This legacy of love, joy, kindness

learning and growing is what I want to leave behind.

I want the sun to shine on the faces of my loved ones.

I want the journey of this life to teach them the important things.  

I want the love and support of this family to 

spread and make a difference.  

I do know  that this group of people that I love 

will and can make a difference, even if the 

road is full of construction.

We are awaiting for our Dr. to get back from vacation 

 we need to have him fill out three more medical certificates.  

I was hoping that this would be done this Monday, however, 

he will not be back until Monday the 9th.

This holds up paper work which holds up our first flight.

AND guess what I  have just realized again

is that I, Michelle is not in control!

We are also trying to get the rest of the money 

by fundraising  and filling out more paper work for 

grants and loans.

I am asking for some additional  prayer.

I need the strength

the love

the support.

Thank you for all your help and support!

Let's keep driving, driving,driving!

I while driving this week listen and enjoy this song

this is our jam!

If you hear it from a distance it will be us coming down the road!